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I Always Have to Tell You

I Always Have to Tell You
By: Taylor Hondos

I always have to tell you,
When it’s really time.
To pick up all the pieces,
And realize my demise.
I always have to tell you,
How I really feel
Because no one would notice,
If I disappeared.
I always have to tell you,
When I’m feeling sad
The way I slump my head around,
Versus really being mad.
This time I won’t tell you,
When I’ve really had enough,
I’ll pack my bags and turn the corner,
Without another touch.

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Stress Under Control

Dear Friends,
“The whole ‘what do I do with my life’ question implies that adulthood is this monolithic creature – like, you acquire your job and your spouse, and then you just ride it out until time’s winged chariot shows up. I thought this when I was younger too, and it’s not our fault, because how does every single happily-ever-after movie end?”
—  John Green
This is the single most important quotation of my life. Ever, why?
I have spent a long time, searching for happiness. I still didn’t find it and I didn’t know why until I read this quote. For two years now, I have been looking for a job career, and a point in my life. I didn’t realize that your destination isn’t the most important thing… the things in between are what are important. Those things in between are called life. Those things in between are what define you. Not your job, not your GPA, not your education, not your school… but what you do with what you’re given. As in my poem, Nothing Really Matters When You’re Dead, nothing does… 
Here is what I have learned through my three day challenge: I learned who I am in a short amount of time from harnessing the pain I feel. 

1.We have to harness our hurt, because hurt is not for us to handle right now. We can handle that when we’re dead. 

2. Being sad is useless.. You’re wasting your time. 

3. Still feel sad? Go do something you love. For me, it is writing about my pain. Read a good book… etc.

4. Do not waste time in a major you hate. Hell, if you hate school, find something you love more than school. Go do something. Do your craft. 

5. Do not sit around. Make the most of each day.

6. Don’t speed on the highway. Do not rush. Listen to some music. It is the most relaxing drive when you drive the speed limit.

7. Feeling mad, grumpy, irritated? Turn it around yourself. Do not count on fate or another person to turn it around. Make your own way. 

8. Be happy. You’re wasting your time on this earth being angry… sad… tired.

9. Peace is within yourself. Find it. Embrace it.

10. Love yourself and if you can’t.. that is okay. But remember, you’re stuck with yourself. Make the most of who you are. Do not change yourself. 

11. Do not worry yourself with others. The truth is, they’ll see you happy and try every single way they can to ruin it. They don’t have to know you, they just hate seeing someone happy. Do not let it bother you…. Do not let it ruin your day. 

12. Be yourself. Someone will hate it. Someone will love it. Who cares? If you love it, that is all that matters.

13. Don’t think about your destination so much. You’re rushing your life away, as I was just last week.. Don’t think of the day you’ll get married. The job you’re gonna have in two years. The life you want….. live the life YOU HAVE right now. Live it. And live the shit out of it. 

14. “Don’t just do the right thing to be pleasing, baby,” as the lovely Spice Girls put it. Do things for yourself. Don’t hurt people in the process of course, but in the end, this is your life. You have exactly one shot to make it count, make it right and make it worthwhile.

15. Last one, promise. Try and wake up each morning with the attitude that you have to take one step at a time. One breath, one heart beat. Be happy with who you are. Look in the mirror (not too long) and think of only today. Not the future, not the past, but that day. Live that day only. Your time will come. That job will come, that husband will come. You have to take it one day at a time. It makes life happier. It makes things less stressful…
Take it from me… the world’s most stressed out girl…. not woman….(my mother has the most stressed out woman award) and relax…. breath. Take a breath and relax……


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The Three Day Challenge Ends

The Three Day Challenge is over but it isn’t for me. I haven’t felt this excited about writing for a while. There has been a certain toll over me and I think I figured out what it was. I wasn’t happy anymore. I want to be happy and I realized that writing is the key to my happiness. I have changed my major back to English with a minor in Communications and I haven’t been this happy in a year. I was recently a Elementary Education major and I somehow couldn’t find my place, my voice. I have finally realized it was in front of me all along. I want to thank Christian for inspiring me to keep trying. It means the world to me. I am going to post something at the very least, once a week. Here is some of Christian’s three day challenge photos! Enjoy(: “theblindwonder” is his tumblr! Give him a follow(:

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AND my personal favorite, not a part of our challenge:
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I hope you find someone who inspires you and encourages you to challenge yourself as well(:

Happy Day<3
Taylor

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I Get Amazed

I Get Amazed
By: Taylor Hondos

I get amazed.
I get amazed to see the girl walk by with her head hung low.
She wore dark blue,
And walked with a staggering glum.
I tried to understand what made her so sad,
But blew it off to get to class.
I get amazed.
I get amazed to see my father driving the speed limit.
To see him in control of something.
He never had a lock on emotions or love.
But he always drove the speed limit and never had a care.
I get amazed.
I get amazed to see how little we care for people in pain.
We are so uninterested in everyday feats,
That we never stop to look at why someone is upset.
We never stop to see why a person is the way that they are.
I get amazed.
I get amazed to see someone love a fragile thing.
Something worthless, 
And yet, he sees something with color and spirit.
He sees worthwhile,
In a worried girl. 
I get amazed.
I get amazed to see the girls walk with confidence I never had.
Their happiness flowing from eat to ear
I get amazed to see how deceitful their happiness is.
How little they feel inside, 
Just to get through the day.
I get amazed
I get amazed to see that life is hard.
When told so young, you’d come out with barely any scars.
We come out with many battles,
We go out of this world, with so many lessons.
I get amazed.
I get amazed to see what matters most in life,
Is the journey and not the moments that bring you to a point.
We’re told that where we get is more important, 
Than how we live our lives.
Life is hard, yet life is good.
Such a complicated way to live.
Live life the way you want and,
If you look around hard enough, you might see the things,
That amaze even you.

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The Words We’re Afraid Of

The Words We’re Afraid Of
By: Taylor Hondos

Love.
The most powerful thing in the word, that turns out to be the most complicated word to say.
Hope.
The best thing to keep you going each day. The hardest thing to grasp on to.
Curious.
As a child, we venture out to seek a new wonder. 
Delighted.
We’ve found something to hold onto and want to hold onto forever.
Strength.
The word everyone wants to gain until they realize it is after heartache.
Free.
The word we are taught that we are; the word we say when we realize we aren’t.
Alive.
Many people can say they’re alive.
Living.
Can we really say we are? I want to know what it feels like to actually be living.
Trying.
Do we try each day or do we just walk in place?
Forgiveness.
The hardest thing to give. The hardest thing to receive.
Afraid.
What are we afraid of? Does it destroy? If not yet, when will it? Will you let it?
Hate.
Much easier to feel after shattered love.
Helpless.
Gasping for air, as we try to hold on to our life.
Ashamed.
We need someone to help us through it.
Depressed.
When we’re young, we thought it would never happen to us.
Spirit.
The thing that dies in you each day when you’re depressed.
Inspire.
We search for something to get us out of ruts.
Optimistic.
As we try to regain control over our hopelessness. 
Forward.
We move forward through life because we know we have to try.
Love.
We try again and hope to succeed. 
Cycle.
We go through the words and hope to find a new meaning each time.
Death.
He claims you when he knows you cannot run anymore.
Peace.
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