The Words We’re Afraid Of
By: Taylor Hondos
Love.
The most powerful thing in the word, that turns out to be the most complicated word to say.
Hope.
The best thing to keep you going each day. The hardest thing to grasp on to.
Curious.
As a child, we venture out to seek a new wonder.
Delighted.
We’ve found something to hold onto and want to hold onto forever.
Strength.
The word everyone wants to gain until they realize it is after heartache.
Free.
The word we are taught that we are; the word we say when we realize we aren’t.
Alive.
Many people can say they’re alive.
Living.
Can we really say we are? I want to know what it feels like to actually be living.
Trying.
Do we try each day or do we just walk in place?
Forgiveness.
The hardest thing to give. The hardest thing to receive.
Afraid.
What are we afraid of? Does it destroy? If not yet, when will it? Will you let it?
Hate.
Much easier to feel after shattered love.
Helpless.
Gasping for air, as we try to hold on to our life.
Ashamed.
We need someone to help us through it.
Depressed.
When we’re young, we thought it would never happen to us.
Spirit.
The thing that dies in you each day when you’re depressed.
Inspire.
We search for something to get us out of ruts.
Optimistic.
As we try to regain control over our hopelessness.
Forward.
We move forward through life because we know we have to try.
Love.
We try again and hope to succeed.
Cycle.
We go through the words and hope to find a new meaning each time.
Death.
He claims you when he knows you cannot run anymore.
Peace.
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Nothing Really Matters When You’re Dead
Nothing Really Matters When You’re Dead
By: Taylor Hondos
Do you ever wake up and look at yourself?
By: Taylor Hondos
Do you ever wake up and look at yourself?
You decide to face the world alone.
You decide it is best to face it without fear;
That someone else could see the broken parts that create you.
Their voices might burn a hole in you.
Their voices may change who you want to be.
Nothing matters when you’re dead.
You see who you are on the inside,
And wish that it reflected who you were on the outside.
You see yourself and think, “why can’t my heart reflect beauty?”
I do not see beauty; I see something else.
Something broken inside.
Something too damaged to show the world.
Nothing really matters when you’re dead.
I imagine the tiny men holding together my body,
as I brush through my hair.
One tear, and the whole structure within me could fall.
Their ropes almost falter as I remember.
Why did I get up today?
Why do I try today?
Nothing really matters when you’re dead.
No one saw the cry of help,
When I felt lonely by myself.
No one said a word to see,
The girl inside me, crumbling.
I didn’t tell, I didn’t show,
Because nothing mattered when I would die.
That was long ago,
Today I wake in a different light.
Today I see that beauty doesn’t matter.
Beauty for who you are is deeper than any outer beauty.
Nothing really matters when you’re dead.
Nothing really matters when you’re dead.
I don’t face mirrors when I wake up now,
I pass by without a glance.
I could walk outside without a trace on my face,
I don’t need reassurance to see the beauty inside of me.
The tiny men holding me together are happy to be there with me.
They know to tell me that nothing really matters when you’re dead.
There is an aura that each person has,
But I do not see my own.
I rely on others to see it for me,
And what does it matter anyways?
Nothing really matters when you’re dead.
Nothing really matters when you’re dead, inside.
The Three Day Challenge
Hello,
I am going to partake in a three day challenge. I do not know what I will write about yet, but I am going to try to make it as meaningful and deep as possible! Wish me luck. (: My friend, Christian and I are going to make this challenge as meaningful as we can. He is going to take photos while I write short stories or maybe a poem. We are going to share our work with each other and my readers will get to read what I have to say here while you can find his work on tumblr, theblindwonder! Follow him to see his work(: Stay tuned!
See you soon<3
Taylor
Gender Inequality
When you’re born a girl. You are restricted and why? I couldn’t tell you. As a woman, I am told how to act and what to wear to be identified as a woman, and I don’t know where they came from. It feels so natural to be like a woman and behave like one but why? Men become men when they realize that they aren’t supposed to cry and they aren’t supposed to whine; that is a woman’s job. Men are told things like, “you fight like a girl” or “you run like a girl.” When was being a girl an insult? It took me until recently to realize that women weren’t paid the same as a man for an equal job. The truth is, I didn’t realize anything about gender equality until this year. People trick you into thinking that gender inequality is a third world country problem. But it’s an everyday problem.
As Emma Watson stated, feminism is given a bad name. It means that you want equality for all genders. And I do. Men feel they have to be masculine while women assume they have to be girly and prissy. I have discovered that in ancient text, a woman was the most important thing. She was the all-knowing creature. Achilles turned to his mother for advice; Shamhat, the prostitute from “The Epic of Gilgamesh” was the dream interpreter. Women were valued and important; they were the ones who could civilize people because they were so knowledgeable. And then the Bible was born. The Bible turned many people against woman. The woman became the one who should be punished with child bearing. Women were given restrictions on how to dress and how to act correctly and “like a lady.” When you raise your children, you give them gender roles that they have to identify with. Little girls get Barbie dolls and little boys get toy cars, etc. When did these toys become associated with a girl or a boy?
Women are convinced that they have to look a certain way to please others and fit in. There is a new trend “the thigh gap” that has beautiful women feeling like they have to be perfect to be wanted or seen. The truth is, beauty is in every form. A thigh gap or a perfect body doesn’t define beauty; beauty is defined by who you are. I understand why people feel this way because when you go to try on clothes, there is a perfect girl in a picture on the wall in the clothes you just tried on, did I mention looking perfect? All I do is remember that Photoshop may be a factor. I don’t agree with Photoshop because flaws are what make people unique and beautiful and dare I say, different. Differences are what show me I am human; flaws show me I am human.
When a sex crime is committed to a woman; she is faced with questions of why it happened? What were you wearing? Were you provoking that person by being too skimpy? Or did you provoke them by just walking by. When a man has had a sex crime committed to them… are they questioned like women are? The answer is no. They are treated like the victim and not the reason they are raped. The thing that bothers me the most, is that rape is mostly associated with women and we forget that men get raped too. We forget that men are not always the strong one. They are forced into thinking that crying is wrong and maybe they even feel that rape makes them weak.
In conclusion, I am for the equality of all genders. I don’t believe that there should be a set way for each gender. I wish men were behind feminists. I want people to realize that there is gender inequality and it doesn’t only apply to women. Men are made to feel like they have to be a certain way and women are convinced they have to act a same way as well.
Taylor<3
My Music Playlist For When I Write
(: Hello,
Whenever I write my book, I always have music playing. It could be blaring, or it could be playing softly through my headphones, but the point is that music is so inspiring. The words and melodies always inspire me to continue writing. So I thought it would be different to tell you some songs that I listen to while I wrote my first book, “The Antidote.” If you have any music suggestions or want to make your own playlist, then send it to me! I love new music(:
They say that music can effect the way you drive or speed, it is the same for when you’re writing. My mind gets going by the music that is playing:
1. The Antidote by St. Vincent- I listened to this the moment I came up with my book title name and no it doesn’t have anything to do with my book’s themes, but I love this song. I always listen to it when I become doubtful(:
2. Pseudologia Fantastica- Foster the People- Honestly this song has the best melody and I can’t get enough of this song. It actually gets my mind going and I have to hear it all the time.
3. Radioactive- Imagine Dragons- Whenever I was editing my book, this song was very popular so I thought I would include it because it inspired me to write sometimes because it has a sick beat….(:
4. Any Grouplove song will be perfect when I am writing as well. I listened to mostly Colours, Raspberry, Hippy Hill and Ways to Go. Literally every song of theirs is perfect. They talk about nonsense and when you try to piece it together, your mind gets going.
5. Stairway to Heavan- Led Zeppelin- I love this song and it is for when my mind needs to slow down a little bit. I think it is helpful to have songs that are upbeat and some songs that slow you down.
6. Smells Like Teen Spirit or Lithium- Nirvana- Nirvana is my cure for all things bad in life. Kurt is the best singer to me of all time. So I am super passionate when I hear Nirvana and it effects how I write so much.
7. Bohemian Rhapsody- Queen- This song is so fun and emotional all in one, therefore it’s always nice to listen to something fun.
8. Brothers- Kid Cudi or really any song of his…..
9. Jack White- Love is Blindness
10. Jimi Hendrix- Voodoo Child
11. Ozzy Osbourne’s songs- all of them<3
12. Kashmir- Led Zeppelin
13. Red Hot Chili Peppers- Under the Bridge
14. Rag Doll- Aerosmith
15.Regina Specktor- Hero
16. Band of Skulls- I Know What I Am
17. Black Hole/ Robot- 30H!3
– My go to artists are Imagine Dragons, Coldplay, Lorde, Prince, Lana Del Ray, Cage the Elephant, Nirvana, Led Zeppelin, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Def Leopard, The Black Keys and Papa Roach.
I have many more songs that I love, but these are all my favorites to hear when I am writing. Let me hear some of your favorite songs!!(:
Taylor<3
